A Time of Thankfulness


 

 
"I have now reigned about fifty years in victory or peace, beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies.  Riches and honors, power and pleasure have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting.  In this situation I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot: they amount to fourteen."  Abd-er-Rahman the Third, of Spain, (around 960 AD)"
 
This piece has haunted me since I first read it in a Louise Penny novel,The Cruelest Month. Here was a man with everything it would seem and yet he can count only 14 times that for him amounted to "pure and genuine happiness."  I would love to have read about one of those days, just to see what was able to bring him such happiness.
I speculate: a moment when a child reached up to be lifted and he did so, perhaps letting the toddler pull on his beard.  Maybe it was his first child or a grandchild and he could see his legacy reflected in that child's deep brown eyes.
Perhaps it was a sunset or sunrise, more stunning than ever he had known before and with in it he felt at one with the Divine and the created earth. It's hard to know what would constitute a "pure and genuine" happiness.
But as we prepare for a Thanksgiving, I asked myself that question and Jerry and I explored those moments of "pure and genuine happiness" and found they appeared in the moments least expected or perhaps the moment we experienced it surprised us with the intensity of that happiness.

  • A day sitting on a bale of hay talking with a kind man, a friend of my sister's,  who later became my husband. 
  • The full-term, healthy birth of a baby who had been in utero during our airplane accident
  • Holding a grandchild a month early but with both mom and child being healthy on Christmas Eve
  • The Aurora Borealis bringing us a magenta red sky with black streaks dotted with stars on a cold February morning at our ranch at 2:00am.
  • The day I quit smoking
  • A day Jerry told me that the best present I'd ever given him was that I was "still here."
  • Finding the perfect home for us after nearly 30 years on the ranch
  • Seeing my first book published
  • Helping to deliver a baby
  • Watching snow fall on two beloved dogs
  • A day when my brother and his wife Barb, Jerry and I rode the ski lift up and down in July and then had dinner at the 9,000 foot level on Mt. Bachelor, cradled in the Cascade Mountains
  • The day the doctor said they got all the cancer after Jerry's and later a friend's surgery


I could go on but I know I have more than 14. And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful not only for the many joys but more that I have somehow been given the gift of awareness of those moments and also have the gift of memory. Many of those moments involved other people and I am grateful for them.


As you gather with family and friends or perhaps fix a meal by yourself, may you take a moment or two to recall moments of happiness in your own life. If you are struggling now, this may take time but it can be a boost to the present challenges to find even one moment of "Pure and genuine happiness." I hope you name many but if you begin with only one, may you build more in this year ahead.  Thank you all for your parts in my moments of great joy.  Warmly, Jane

My sis-in-law Barb, nephew Clayton, my brother Craig and nephew Cohlman

Comments

Bonnie said…
Your post was made just three days after the hardest day of my life, November 13th, 2017, the day my daughter died at 9:00 AM. I take comfort from it, reading it for the first time in May 30th, 2020.
In 1978 I was pregnant, and wanted to have a little girl who I could dress up in pretty little dresses with the ruffled panties and lace topped socks. I had decided to name her Adeline Louise, after my two grandmas. Instead I got Nathan, my loving and sensitive firstborn.
In 1980 I was pregnant, and still wanted my little girl, this time named Margaret Louise. Instead I got David, my brainy second born, who is the proud father of all six of my grandchildren, 3 girls & 3 boys!
In 1989 I was pregnant, and while still wanting my little girl, I had the sense to have two names picked out this time, Jared and Lydia. Finally I got my girl! Lydia was born June 10th, 1989. She was full term, and apparently healthy. A full head of dark hair, and all her fingers and toes, but inside she had problems.
Lydia's right side of her brain did not have any capillaries. Her arteries and veins were directly connected together, which is called an AVM. She had five surgeries, once a week for the first five weeks of her life, to clamp off a few of those blood vessels at a time. It had to be done in pieces like that because her heart had to get used to the changes slowly. The right hemisphere of her brain had never developed, and was removed during the fifth surgery.
She had an exterior shunt temporarily, to keep fluid from building up in her brain area. During this time she had a massive strike on the left side of her brain. The MRI showed a big black area, caused by the stroke. They told us that that part of Lydia that made her Lydia was gone, and if she lived she would be a vegetable. Her body started shutting down, and her veins retreated so far that they would have to do a cut down, if she needed a new IV. The doctors wanted to put a DNR order in her.
My thoughts were "No, where there's life, there's hope!" Our Christian Fellowship coordinator explained that we had chosen to believe the doctors back in June, and the doctors had gotten to the end of their ability. We either needed to let her go, or we needed to quit f'ing around and BELIEVE!
We asked the doctor when the END would be lifted, if we agreed to it? He said IF she started to rally, like moving her limbs & coming out of the coma she was in. We said ok to the DNR, and later found out that within 30 minutes the nurse noticed spontaneous movement of all four of her limbs!
We brought her home, 3.5 months after she was born. She loved cuddling, and any noises. We took care of her for 28 years 5 months and 3 days. She was the center of our lives. She never walked, or talked, and she was bed bound, but she was no vegetable! She was my little girl!
I met you at the Klamath County Library a few years ago. I read all your books and loved them! Thank you for some of my special days!
God's best blessings on you and all you do! God always gives his best!
Bonnie Ferguson
458-232-2997
Bonnie said…
Not "END", "DNR". (Stupid autocorrect!)
Bonnie said…
Your post was made just three days after the hardest day of my life, November 13th, 2017, the day my daughter died at 9:00 AM. I take comfort from it, reading it for the first time in May 30th, 2020.
In 1978 I was pregnant, and wanted to have a little girl who I could dress up in pretty little dresses with the ruffled panties and lace topped socks. I had decided to name her Adeline Louise, after my two grandmas. Instead I got Nathan, my loving and sensitive firstborn.
In 1980 I was pregnant, and still wanted my little girl, this time named Margaret Louise. Instead I got David, my brainy second born, who is the proud father of all six of my grandchildren, 3 girls & 3 boys!
In 1989 I was pregnant, and while still wanting my little girl, I had the sense to have two names picked out this time, Jared and Lydia. Finally I got my girl! Lydia was born June 10th, 1989. She was full term, and apparently healthy. A full head of dark hair, and all her fingers and toes, but inside she had problems.
Lydia's right side of her brain did not have any capillaries. Her arteries and veins were directly connected together, which is called an AVM. She had five surgeries, once a week for the first five weeks of her life, to clamp off a few of those blood vessels at a time. It had to be done in pieces like that because her heart had to get used to the changes slowly. The right hemisphere of her brain had never developed, and was removed during the fifth surgery.
She had an exterior shunt temporarily, to keep fluid from building up in her brain area. During this time she had a massive strike on the left side of her brain. The MRI showed a big black area, caused by the stroke. They told us that that part of Lydia that made her Lydia was gone, and if she lived she would be a vegetable. Her body started shutting down, and her veins retreated so far that they would have to do a cut down, if she needed a new IV. The doctors wanted to put a DNR order in her.
My thoughts were "No, where there's life, there's hope!" Our Christian Fellowship coordinator explained that we had chosen to believe the doctors back in June, and the doctors had gotten to the end of their ability. We either needed to let her go, or we needed to quit f'ing around and BELIEVE!
We asked the doctor when the END would be lifted, if we agreed to it? He said IF she started to rally, like moving her limbs & coming out of the coma she was in. We said ok to the DNR, and later found out that within 30 minutes the nurse noticed spontaneous movement of all four of her limbs!
We brought her home, 3.5 months after she was born. She loved cuddling, and any noises. We took care of her for 28 years 5 months and 3 days. She was the center of our lives. She never walked, or talked, and she was bed bound, but she was no vegetable! She was my little girl!
I met you at the Klamath County Library a few years ago. I read all your books and loved them! Thank you for some of my special days!
God's best blessings on you and all you do! God always gives his best!
Bonnie Ferguson
458-232-2997